you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
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when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
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Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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