Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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