God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
