I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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