the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
