had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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