her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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