last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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