Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
