just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
