dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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