here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
