I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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