Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
