You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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