Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Boobs are out for the taking
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
