So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
