My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
