some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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