How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
