why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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