Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize