Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
