We're facebook friends in real life
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My vagina just clenched in fear
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
