If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
