what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
