i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
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I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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