My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
