I CAN MOONWALK!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
