You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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