elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
