Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
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Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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