So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This is classic penis vs brain.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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