i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
