Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
