Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You were trust falling into bushes
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
