I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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