I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ketchup is God's man juice
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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