One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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