Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
