whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
