After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
