we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
