I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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