If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
