i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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