Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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