We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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