I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
