Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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