I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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