after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she looked like the before picture.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
