Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
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She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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