Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
MIDGETS
????
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
