More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize