well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
