Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
