I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
