Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Congratulations! We have a period
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
