Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im holly from the hills drunk
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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