He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
