420 ftw
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
