no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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